I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
