if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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