I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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