I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
