Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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