If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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