I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
