whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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