I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
