Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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