you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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