Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
