More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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