similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
