Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
