from now on my penis is your penis
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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