is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
