im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
