i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
