super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
