She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's official drugs can't kill me
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
