I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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