We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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