I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
