Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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