Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
foreskin is a definite game changer
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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