is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
