so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
