YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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