im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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