so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
