i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
