I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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