shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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