Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
