how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
