If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
