do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
