That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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