Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize