She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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