Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
