maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
smell my finger.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
