The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
