I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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