This girl is more easily done than said...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
