I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
