he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
