Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
