I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize