I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
