he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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