the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
