It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
