if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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