I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
