She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
