Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
