Do you still have your period?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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