I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
