I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize