Its about making memories worth repressing
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
