Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Randomize
